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Legacy Runtime
$31.00
Reliable shipping
Flexible returns
Brand issued. Context unknown. Patch notes unavailable.
A standard-issue Pineapple Jesus tee for environments running deprecated infrastructure - human or otherwise.
“This garment is running on legacy code.”
Printed across the chest beside the original mark. No fix scheduled.
Specs:
- 100% cotton.
- Fit: loosely optimized for unstable forks.
- Compatible with canonical and off-brand timelines.
- Not responsible for recursion loops.
You were never meant to update. Just run.
| S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 |
| Sleeve length, in | 8.90 | 9.20 | 9.50 | 9.70 | 10.00 | 10.40 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |