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Schedule IV Garment
$31.00
Reliable shipping
Flexible returns
Issued without proper clearance. Worn without proper understanding.
Text reads: "Approved under emergency directive 12 by the Ministry of Fabrics & Spacetime Anomalies."
Whether that’s legally binding or metaphysically ironic is above your clearance level.
Designed for anomalous environments, compromised timelines, and Tuesdays.
Specs:
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Fit: Unisex. Stable across most known bodies.
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Material: 100% cotton, non-volatile.
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Print: Official Ministry seal, bold text issued mid-chest.
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Colorways: Temporal red with black/yellow insignia, subject to fluctuation.
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Compliance: Schedule IV. May require plausible deniability.
Laundry-safe, causality-optional.
| S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 |
| Sleeve length, in | 8.90 | 9.20 | 9.50 | 9.70 | 10.00 | 10.40 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |